Every evening in Vrindhavan starts with the melodious sound of Krishna's flute. The music from the flute sounds magical for it is the breath of Krishna! The music from Krishna’s flute will blend in the air all the way from the banks of the river and will drift through every single house and heart in Vrindhavan. The first one to run towards Krishna will always be Radha. Radha’s heart knows that her Krishna’s heart is filled with pleasure and the pleasure is spreading to everyone through his flute. Radha knew that her Krishna is calling her to share the delight with her. The music will bring a new liveliness among every soul in Vrindhavan. It will drag everyone towards Krishna. Old people will forget their weakness and will rush towards Krishna. The young gopis will even forget to wear ornaments or decorate their hair with flowers. They will run towards Krishna with a feeling that Krishna is playing the flute only for them. But for Krishna’s friends, the magic of Krishna’s flute will not hypnotize them. They run towards Krishna because they know that it’s time for Rasa Leela!
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| Rasa Lila! |
The elders will be seated waiting to watch the magic while Krishna’s friends will play music and sing song. The young gopis will dance in circular formation with Krishna and Radha dancing in the middle. Every gopi will have the perception that Krishna is dancing with them only. Even the folks who are watching could see multitude of Krishna dancing separately with every single gopi. The vibrant glow of Krishna and Radha’s energy will enlighten the whole place.
Everyone will be mesmerized on Krishna’s flute and beauty. Such is the power of devotion, trust and love for Krishna from the people of Vrindhavan. When the dance stops, everyone will go back to their houses with their hearts filled with unknown happiness. They will even forget to notice that Krishna and Radha are missing! Krishna and Radha will head towards their favorite spot in the forest, on the banks of Yamuna River and under the moonlight starts their day with the warmth of love.
“Krishna! Play for me the song that’s in your heart,”- Radha’s words will delight the heart of Krishna.
“Krishna! The warmth that I get being surrounded by your arms is more than enough for me to live. The love from you is my only ocean. Shore less ocean. Like the shore less ocean, our love is also never ending and I wish our moments together are also never ending.”- Radha’s love was more than enough for Krishna to spend his life. At times they will spend their whole night in their spot and will return before the break of dawn.
Krishna and Radha’s love was known to everyone in Vrindhavan. Realizing that Krishna and Radha are getting close, Radha’s father made sure she gets married. So he made arrangements for Radha’s engagement with Aiyyan, another Gopa.
Radha and Krishna met that night in their usual spot. Radha resting her head on Krishna’s heart like a flower resting on lavishing green bed of grass, said in a gloomy voice, “Krishna, My father has made arrangements for my engagement with Aiyyan. I wouldn’t marry anyone else. My love, my heart and my soul is only for you. My father is not ready to listen to me, Krishna. What shall we do now? I can’t live without you. You are my only person in my heart and in my life.”
Krishna sensed the seriousness and distress in Radha’s heart. “Radha, my dear, don’t you worry. I will ask my mom and dad to ask your hand for marriage with me. You are my inner fire and peace. How can I live without you, Radha? Don’t worry.”-saying so Krishna hugged Radha sharing the warmth of love and courage.
The next day Krishna went to his mother. “Mother, I would like you to go to Radha’s house and ask her family for her hand in marriage.”
Mother Yashoda saw Krishna - “Krishna this is not the time to play your pranks. If father gets to know about it, he will get angry.”
“Matha, I’m not playing pranks. I’m in love with Radha and I want to marry her. I would like to live the rest of my life with her.”- Krishna said with a sense of seriousness.
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| Radha... |
Listening to Krishna’s words, Yashoda understood his seriousness. But she replied in a firm tone, “No Krishna. You can’t marry her. Remember, she is ten years older than you. Moreover, you are the son of the chief and she is not from a family of chief. Her family’s status is much lower compared to ours. She won’t fit in our family. Also, I heard that she is engaged to Aiyyan.”
While Yashoda was explaining her disapproval, Nandha Gopa entered the house. Hearing Yashoda speaking strongly against Krishna, he sensed a matter of seriousness. “What is going on? What happened now to discuss so resiliently?”- enquired Nandha Gopa.
Yashoda asked Krishna to resolve the matter with his father and so Krishna placed his request in front of his father. Listening to Krishna’s words, Nandha Gopa said with a glint, “Right, so the matter has gone serious now. Krishna, you can’t marry Radha. Her age, her family status and her engagement all makes it impossible for you to marry her. I have noticed you spending more time with the gopis. There are many chiefs and lords who are willing and waiting to wed their daughters to you. You just approve one of those girls and we can arrange for your marriage.”
“No father, I like to marry only Radha. Not any chieftain’s daughter. I don’t mind about her age. It doesn’t matter what her family’s status is. Even if she is engaged, I don’t mind. You know that I and Radha are in love. So break off that engagement and ask Radha for me. I love her. She loves me. We both understand each other. What else is needed in a nuptial life? I don’t find any reason on seeing status of her family. In front of love, money, wealth and status are nothing.”-Krishna stood firm in his position.
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| Sage Garg |
Nandha Gopa and Yashoda knew that they can’t win in an argument with Krishna. Especially, when he is so firm in what he needs. Sage Garg visited Nandha Gopa’s house on an urgent matter regarding Kamsa. Nandha Gopa informed about Krishna’s love to him. Nandha Gopa asked Sage Garg to speak on their behalf. But Krishna was persistent. “I know that what I and Radha share is more than enough to live a happy life. Radha’s nature and my nature are one and the same. We love each other and understand each other better than anyone. We would like to get married and live rest of the life happily in Vrindhavan.”-said determined Krishna.
“Nandha Gopa, I think it’s time we say the truth to Krishna. It’s time we make him realize the reason of his birth.”-Saying so Sage Garg continued speaking-“Krishna, You are son of a prince. You were born to Prince Vasudeva and Devaki. On their wedding day, it was presaged that their eighth son will kill the elder brother of Devaki, King Kamsa, the ruler of Mathura. Kamsa imprisoned them and killed six children within an hour of their birth. Their seventh child is Balram. And their eighth child is you. The day you were born, you were moved from prison to Gokulam, to Nandha Gopa’s house. Only Nandha Gopa knows about it. It’s your responsibility to help people. It’s you who should help the people of Mathura and also save your Yadava clan from the cruelty. All those demons sent to kill you were because of the fear Kamsa has got on you. It’s foretold that you will be the leader of the Yadava race and the savior of all humanity. You will be the one who will stand up to sustain Dharma on earth. Now think of what you said and what really is put on your shoulders. This world’s future and humanity is put up against your love for Radha. Radha is just a village girl. She will not be a suitable companion to you in your efforts to sustain dharma. She won’t be a suitable companion to you in this journey that you are to take. Akrura will be here anytime. He is being sent by Kamsa to invite you to visit Mathura. Kamsa plans to kill you there. But we know it’s you who is going to kill Kamsa. Do you think your parents can introduce her to the world where you will be the King and she will still be a village gopi? So, think on what it’s going to be.”
Listening to Sage Garg’s words, unable to endure the truth, Yashoda fainted. They took Yashoda to her bed and the servants took care of her. Nandha Gopa and Balram stood speechless. Taking in Sage’s words, Krishna stood in discreet silence and then he spoke in a very humble and rational tone, “I would like to profess that Nandha Gopa and Yashoda are my parents. Even if I get to be in Mathura, I will always consider Nandha Gopa and Matha Yashoda as my parents, like how I care and consider them now. Father, I request you to keep this truth as a secret from our people, at least until me and Balram leave to Mathura. If they get to know the truth, they won’t be able to bear the fact that I will leave them and I don’t have the strength to see them get hurt.”
Hearing Krishna’s words, Nandha Gopa cried, “Sorry Krishna. I wish you boys stay with us. But it’s not in our hands to ask you guys to stay. Especially, when you guys have a city to rule and protect people, being a King and prince.”
Krishna, whose thoughts were filled with Radha said in a distressed voice, “Radha! What am I going to tell her? How am I going to explain to her, Balrama? I still remember seeing her the first time. There’s not a single day she has not waited for me, right from the day we have met each other. Every breath she takes in has got my name on it. To her, the springs were only when I’m with her. And her life’s like a lifeless dessert without me. Her days pass by only with a hope to see me every night. She stood against everyone for me. Only because of her love for me, I feel I’m living every moment of my life. And I know that’s the same for her too. I know I live only for her. I live in her.”
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| Kaliya dance! |
Krishna paused for a moment enlivening his memories and taking a deep breath, he continued- “If I had died on that day while fighting the snake Kaliya, people in Vrindhavan would have been heart broken, Matha Yashoda would never have stopped crying and Father Nandha Gopa and brother Balram would never have smiled, like forever. But Radha! Radha would have died the instant she came to know that I was dead. Such is her love for me. And, you want me to sustain humanity, love and dharma on this world by killing that one heart that loves me the most, by coercing that heart into darkness, excruciating pain and suffering, forever. You are separating me from my power, from my soul, from my inner fire and ask me to carry out the greatest task for mankind. What am I going to do and how am I going to explain her?”
Balram understood the intensity of pain in Krishna’s heart and he patted his hand on Krishna’s shoulders with no words to speak.
Akrura reached Vrindhavan and visited Nandha Gopa’s house. Everyone was worried on Akrura’s arrival but when the truth came out they were devastated. The news spread like wildfire. The gopas were worried on losing a great friend and the gopis were not able to endure the truth that they are losing the man of their dreams. Though all their worries and cries made Krishna weak, he was worried on how Radha will react. Krishna ran towards the spot where he will be meeting Radha daily.
Radha…when she heard about Krishna’s departure, she lost her senses. She sat stunned like she got no reason to live for. She knew that Krishna will be waiting for her in their favorite spot to tell the truth himself. She didn’t have the thought to comb her hair or wear flowers and ornaments or even wear good looking clothes like how she decorates herself before seeing Krishna all these days. She ran towards the place where her heart is waiting for her in agony.
Radha saw Krishna seated beneath the tree in their spot. He was facing the Yamuna River with his eyes fixed on the river and thoughts fixed on Radha. Krishna heard the distressed sounds of Radha’s anklets. He looked up at her with eyes filled with tears, questions and pain. Radha stood staggered. Though they had millions to speak and ask, they both were speechless. The eyes lost the spark that they used to have. The lips that used to smile at each other were struck, failing to recall how to smile. Millions of thoughts and memories flashed in their minds and tears were flowing from both the pairs of eyes. Moments passed by but to them it was like, the world has stopped forever. Krishna stood and his legs trembled because of the pain in his heart. Radha felt the same and she ran towards Krishna. She cuddled up with Krishna. Krishna hugged her back with all his love.
Moments passed with sheer silence. Radha had her head rested on Krishna’s chest. Krishna, with eyes filled with tears and heart filled with pain narrated the story of Kamsa, his parents, his birth and the presage that he’ll be slaying Kamsa and will be sustaining humanity and peace. Radha was listening to Krishna without questions asked. She intuited the decision made by Krishna while he was explaining about his past and she sensed Krishna’s helplessness in saying it.
Krishna sensed Radha’s silence. “What is it you are worried about? Are you afraid that my uncle, Kamsa will kill me?”- Krishna asked Radha.
“No. I have seen you holding Govardhana hill like a tiny flower. I have seen you protecting us from the rage of Indra with a smile on your face. And the Kaliya dance. I have never forgotten those moments of yours where you have put yourself in trouble to protect our people. To save the gopis and gopas. So, I know you will kill him. No doubts in that.”
“What is it then? Don’t worry. Once this is all over, I will call you to Mathura. We’ll marry there and live happily.”- replied Krishna trying to put a smile on Radha’s tear glossed lips.
Radha looked up at Krishna. “Is there anything that I can do to make you stay?”-she asked with an expectation.
Krishna looked deep into Radha’s eyes. “Radha, if this is all about only slaying my uncle, then yes, your love would be more than enough to bring me back to Vrindhavan. But…”-Krishna stopped unable to continue.
“…but it’s more than that. There’s a kingdom that you got to rule. People are waiting for you to enlighten their life. It’s your duty to protect them from further troubles. It’s your responsibility. Right?”- Radha finished Krishna’s thoughts.
Krishna shook his head slightly in approval to her words with his eyes looking at the ground.
Radha continued by looking at the river, “Krishna, Do you remember our nights here? The moments where we stayed and lived happily like we were the only souls on this whole world.”
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| Memories.. |
Krishna looked at Radha waiting for her to continue. “I remember the full moon night. This place was filled with flowers. The water was gleaming on the moonlight. I was playing your flute. You were cuddling me on this lavishing green grass that was topped with the dewdrops. I asked you whether we will be the same, like this, forever. You replied that we’ll get married and live a happy life forever in this Vrindhavan. And that we’ll spend every night here.”- said Radha recalling her moments with Krishna.
“Radha, I will take you to Mathura. We’ll get married and we can live together. Happily. You will be my queen always. Like how you are now to me.”- replied Krishna.
Radha listened to Krishna’s words. She looked at him in the eyes and gave a gleaming smile. “No Krishna. I am in love with you. But that doesn’t mean I can stop you from your destiny and duty. Love encourages the soul to move towards duty and responsibility with utmost sincerity. I’m just a cowherd girl. I will be lost in the palace maneuverings. You will also be not the same. You will become the King of Yadavas. People will look up to you, depend on you and also seek your support. You will have responsibilities. You will, for sure, will change once you become the prince. Your life and thoughts will be different there. You have to make them feel proud when they talk about you or think about you. You have to consider them above your happiness. You will not be the same old my Krishna who played flute and took care of cattle and danced with me with a peacock feather on his crown. Destiny has set us a new path where I don’t fit in your life. You will be a King. I, a village cowherd girl won’t be a good choice to be a queen, standing next to you. That won’t make your people to be proud of. There will be many princesses who will be falling in love with you like the gopis here. They would love to get married to you. Putting them on one plate and me, a cowherd girl on another will make you and your parents look awkward, for I am inept when it comes to being a queen or princess for you. I won’t be able to think and react like a queen or princess when it comes to political issues and conducts, for all my life I have lived among you, the gopas, gopis and the cattle. I will be looking odd and clumsy to your mother and also among other princess. I will make you feel uncomfortable among other kings whom you will get to meet. This is where our destiny has brought us.”- Radha said in a pleasant but firm voice.
Krishna placed his soft and lotus pink fingers on Radha’s cheeks. “Radha, I can feel your soul. The agony you are going through-“not sure of a life without me”. I know how hard it will be for you to live without me. It’s the same for me too. The pain will not be endurable for both of us. I know you can comprehend my decision. Why are you trying to hide the pain from me? Why are you trying to show that you are strong? Don’t you know that we have one soul?”- Krishna spoke with eyes filled with tears.
Radha snuggled her face in Krishna’s chest. Krishna’s chest held her tears. Radha, who was now completely weakened, said in a sobbing voice, “You were always my prince. My King. My everything. And you will always be the same to me. You are my supreme. There’s no place for anyone else in my heart and in my life for I have given my soul to you. And I don’t have a life without you. You would always put your arms around me to share your happiness and my pain. I won't be having you next to me anymore when I live my most difficult part of life. I won't be having anyone to comfort me. Will you remember me? Will you think of me, at nights? Will you think of our nights when you see the flowers blossom after the moon’s arrival?”
Krishna embraced Radha skintight- “How can I even forget you? You are my spirit. You are the essence of my life. You are my eternal love and soul mate. You are inseparable from my life. You are my everything. You are my breath, my soul and my only reason to exist. Without you, there’s no Krishna. Like feathers and wing. You are my sun and my moon.”
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| River Yamuna in agony! |
Krishna held Radha much closer. Their tears merged into one. They cuddled together on the bank of River Yamuna. They submerged in the ocean of constrained love for each other and they united in body and soul. Radha and Krishna let out the reserved love for each other to flow. They sunk for one last time into the ocean of their love. They both were relishing their final moments of intimacy. They cherished their final moments of being together as one! Their last moments of holding each other; even Yamuna flowed in silence sharing their agony. Even the flowers blossomed pale disheartened on Krishna and Radha’s separation.
Hours passed by. Radha and Krishna were lying on the bank of the river. The moments passed in complete silence. They were looking at the river and recalling their magical moments of love. Krishna hugged Radha who was resting her head on his chest much closer to him,-“Radha, You know what, Now that I am of royal origin, we just got married as per the Gandharva tradition. So, we are inseparable. We will be inseparable spiritually, forever.”
Radha retrieved her serenity- “Krishna, Listen to me. I will stay here, in Vrindhavan. This is the only place where we had our mystical moments of togetherness. This is the only place where I will be able to find my own Krishna. The one who enchanted people with his flute. This is the only place where your weapon was only your charm looks, flute and smile. Only here, I will forever be with the Krishna I know of. The one who loved me eternally. I will see you in the waters of Yamuna, I will see your foot prints in this place, and this place is filled with your breath, your love and your scent. The air that flows here is the one that has come out of your flute holes. It’s your every breath left here for me, till I live. You know the pain of separation, pain in leaving the loved ones and even the pain of seeing the loved ones get hurt. So, you are the only person who can save humanity and restore love among people. You have a responsibility. Leave the sufferings to me. Let me be here. My love for you is not only to enjoy the fruits of pleasure in it but also to take care of your sufferings. We did not get to be together forever, but, I can live with your thoughts forever. I will hold all your pain and distress and you go save humanity with your charming smile. Kindly, accept my request to stay here.”
Krishna, who was listening to Radha with a heavy heart, spoke in a distressed voice, “Radha, you are right. I have to change for the people. I won’t be the Krishna you know of. And if you come with me, of course you too have to change. You are my precious and delicate flower. I don’t wish to drag you into the world of blistering winds. You stay in Vrindhavan. This will be the only place on this whole earth where I can find my eternal love and my soul.”
“Krishna, I won’t interfere in your life anymore. I know meeting you in a situation like that will definitely make things difficult for both of us. I don’t wish to put you in such a difficult situation. I know that you will get married and will live a delighted life. I don’t want you to feel guilty. I would like you to know that I am pleased that I get to live a life filled your breath and thoughts. Though I will get to know that you are happy with your wives, remember, I also will know that your tears will always be only for me. It’s those tears that makes me feel special and also showers your love for me, forever. Don’t be guilt-ridden, thinking of me.”-Radha said with a heavy heart.
They saw the sun who was pondering whether to arise or not. Radha got up and roped her dress and tied her tousled hair. Krishna looked at Radha who was standing beneath the tree. “This sight: Radha beneath the tree, in our favorite spot on the banks of Yamuna, the sight that was the reason for my very existence all these days… That glistening smile and glimmering love in Radha’s face and eyes, the moment she sees me…Today is going to be the last. You and the sight of seeing you here every day, both are hard to erase from me, Radha. Only that I don’t get to see that smile!”-Krishna thought to himself.
Radha after done tying looked up at Krishna who was staring at her. She understood the unspoken thoughts of Krishna and smiled at him. Smile filled with love assurance. Krishna smiled at Radha and he looked up at the sky and sighed. He got up and roped his clothes. The time for final parting has come. Krishna looked up at Radha. Radha’s eyes were fixed on the horizon.
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| Dawn and dusk...at the same time! |
“This dawn is really going to be a life changing dawn for everyone, right? The world will have you to restore humanity and love. And for me and the people of Vrindhavan, it’s a dawn that we never wished to happen. And for you too for I believe you won’t be setting foot on Vrindhavan again.”-Radha said in dismay.
Krishna moved towards Radha and hugged her from the back. He confined her within his hands and laid his head on her shoulder with his cheeks close to her cheeks and said-“Mmhmm, My final dawn in Vrindhavan. In our spot. Because of your love for me, I will be treasured forever. And because of the people of Vrindhavan, who are giving me to the world for its happiness, Vrindhavan and its people will be cherished forever. My final dawn too. I am leaving my sun and moon behind. My sky might be filled with stars in the future but will always be empty without its sun and the moon.”
Radha understood Krishna’s reference. She turned her face towards him and they kissed tenderly. Krishna stared at the place and sighed with a heavy heart. The whole spot appeared like it was engulfed with loneliness and silence. Krishna left his place with a heavy heart holding Radha’s hands tightly for one last time.
